I was on the couch under a blanket, feeling suspiciously short of breath, when I figured out that what I just steamrolled through was more than a nasty cold. I finally got COVID.
I HATE being ill. The vulnerability of sickness scares me out of my mind. It’s hard enough to be managing messy symptoms, but the terror that comes with it is really rough for me, especially when I just arrived in a random apartment rather than being cosy in a familiar home. (I sold/donated/gave away 95% of my possessions and went on the road in March.)
But do you know what was the most soothing remedy for my malaise? It wasn’t the hot tea, or the cold and flu medication, or the cough sweets.
It was that blanket.
A few months ago, my friend Tracie gifted it to me. We’ve known each other about 8 years. Tracie’s nuts about crochet, and it’s a truly beautiful piece, intricately stitched in a muted rainbow variegated yarn. Her gift was a complete surprise. I was just bowled over, and I told her so.
It’s a beautiful handmade blanket, and I treasure it. I appreciate the work in it, the care in it, and the love in it. But never more so than when my world was falling apart a couple of days ago, and I was clinging to that blanket like it was my last scrap of proof that the world is a kind place. (I’m melodramatic when I’m ill.)
In the terror of sickness, the love in that blanket meant more than every stylish pillow in this apartment put together. It was a balm.
Many years ago my very dear, late friend Sam had the opportunity to make a birthday cake for his karate guru, a quiet, wise, deeply respected, spiritual man.
Sam put everything he had into that cake. And at the party, someone said, “You can taste the love in this cake, Sam. It’s truly delicious.” Mission accomplished. The cake helped make the party special.
I was born in the early 1970s. I’m just old enough to remember a time when birthday parties meant wearing a special “party dress”, a long, floral thing with a white bib and long sleeves. Every girl had one, usually made by her mother or grandmother. In all my childhood privilege I remember feeling naively sorry for those poor girls who wore a “shop bought” party dress. They weren’t the same.
I remember my disappointment when more and more birthday cakes became “shop bought.” And when more and more clothes were shop bought too. It felt like something significant was being lost.
Of course, more and more families featured two working parents at that time, and they were making birthdays and kids’ wardrobes work. It’s easy to see that now. I appreciate everything that I or any of my friends was lucky enough to have.
And also… there was a love in “hand made” that was lost in the shop.
We wonder who on earth is going to care about the cake or the blanket or the dress we made, don’t we… we wonder about its value.
Whatever you make has value, but not because of the skill in it; it doesn’t have to be perfect. It has value because it has a piece of YOU in it. One person – you – hand made it over a considerable period of time. You invested your love, your energy, and your concentration in it, and all of that concentrated energy stays in it. The object you created is a three dimensional receptacle for love. It’s a charm, a spell. It’s your care made real.
There’s a love in that blanket that pulled me through a dark week. Have you ever had an experience like that?
Sorry u r poorly. Sending u positive thoughts and warmest regards for a quick recovery.🤞🙏
Im so sorry you have not been well. I pray you feel better really soon.
I go to thrift stores and rescue what ever handmade blankets i can find. So the love can continue in to my home.
I am so sorry you’re ill. I recently caught COVID as well. I hope your recovery is as speedy as mine was, if not moreso.
There are a few times I can recall being severely ill in my childhood. My grandmother made quilts, and my mother crocheted blankets that we called afghans. I always appreciated every one, feeling as though they were the most comforting things a person could own.
Now every time I see a handmade blanket or quilt, I become nostalgic and feel the need to create one of my own. I have yet to do this, but I am making things such as shoulder bags, stuffed animals and occasionally clothing items for costumes.
My 24-yr-old kid seems to walk away with all I don’t gift to others. It makes me feel good to see her value these items, so I don’t mind when something I made for myself disappears after she visits.
When we crochet, our heart and attention is in every stitch and seems to stay there, woven into the fibres, long after the work is complete. It is a very tangible thing. Glad you are finding it healing and comforting, that’s what crochet blankets are meant for 🙂
Beautiful! The sentiments and the blanket. I am crazy about crochet myself and love that it is still appreciated by many. Get well soon!
I am so sorry you got Covid. Thank heaven for your friend who made your blanket! I’m waiting to see your handmade coat of velvet! I’ve lived seeing how it’s coming together. Stay well.
Cathy Hay, I deeply believe in your well-being. You do too, I’m sure.
I am so happy to hear how much comfort this gift gave you. I feel inspired to make and give away more than I do now. The connection I have with my creations is what you said, a piece of myself, which makes it hard to say goodbye when I give things away. I should remember that creation without generosity is stunted creation. Generosity brings life to what I make.
I know exactly what you mean about the party dresse:I loved the possibility that it could be a dress just the way I wanted: usually though mine were actually less fanciful and in the material and style my Mother or Aunty Elsie thought suitable for my age. I still remember each handmade dress I ever had because each was an event in itself.
Lovely thoughts! Sorry you’ve had COVID and hope you are back to adventures in no time.
Not every one can make a dress or bake a cake. There can be love and careful consideration for whom the cake or dress is purchased. Yes, homemade is truly marvelous, but sometimes intent will have to do.
I hope you feel better soon.
Get well soon! xx
My sister was diagnosed with a brain tumor in October. The tumor was the size of a softball. They found it on a Friday and she had emergency brain surgery on Saturday.
I made her a scrap quilt, a free pattern from Fat Quarter Shop ( it’s in Texas) and only used my scraps.
Jenn and I both love Star Trek so I only watched that while working on her quilt.
She brings it with her to radiation and when she gets scans.
It’s always with her. I absolutely believe in putting positive energy into items that you make.
I don’t know if she will survive this, she’s only 37 years old.
They’ve doubled her chemotherapy dose this week. She told me in private, “if I die, will you make sure they include this quilt for my funeral…”
It absolutely destroyed me.
Her quilt is her lifeline to positive energy and love.
I just hope it’s enough.
Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry that you got Covid and were feeling rubbish. Getting sick bloody well sucks. I do hope you are on the mend soon. Your friend provided you a magic elixir. Take care Cathy.
Shelly, your comment made me cry. Anyone can see how deeply you love your sister. I hope and pray that she pulls through. I hope that you two continue to have a long and productive lives, sharing and caring for many years to come. I do believe in love what you spoke of in making the quilt for your sister. And that somehow it becomes this protection and container of love and good wishes. All of my heartfelt wishes and positive thoughts are being sent your way.
Oh Shelly….your love and support and positive energy, through the quilt, is everything.
Oh Shelly, all the love and strength to you and your sister. Holding you both in my thoughts with healing light. May she make a full and speedy recovery.
I have a quilt my great grandmother made with material purchased with her egg money and scraps from her childrens’ worn out clothes. I never met her, but my grandmother tells me we are a lot alike. When I feel bad I go get it out and burrow in. I’ve had to replace some of the patches so it’s become a collaboration.
I hope you feel better soon wrapped in the love of your friends.
Aw I am so glad you had that blanket while you were ill in a strange place. I have a robe from my mother, not homemade, but special all the same. My mother has one like it. Once a friend had just moved not too far from my parents and she was homesick and sick. I called my mother and told her and she went round with homemade soup. My friend later told me that my mom had also brought her the robe… a big down filled hug of a robe. And that is why my mother wanted me to have it, living far away from her… so I understand, even if it is not homemade. ❤️ I am sorry you were alone and send warm wishes and hope you feel better soon.
{{hugs}}
It is a very lovely healing blanket.
I still sleep under a handmade quilt. I have worn out quilts by my grandma since my birth more than 40 years ago. It just feels better than other blankets!
Almost every birthday cake for my kids has been made by me. Unless they request a special ice cream cake. And while it takes time, it creates a memory. I poor my love I to their cake.
Every Christmas I can be found making a handmade gift. A scarf, mittens, a blanket, an embroidered picture. It is a compulsion. To show someone they are so loved that I will sacrifice my time for them.
Sending you my best wishes for a speedy recovery! I’m glad you have that wonderful friend who is now giving you comfort in this way!
I’m also an early 70s vintage, but I remember we looked down on people with handmade clothes in primary school, I only appreciated that skill some years later. My mother couldn’t sew much apart from fixing a button, cakes came mainly from baking mixes (it was a thing back then) and I’ve never heard of a party dress you describe (but I hated dresses anyway). Crafting and the appreciation of handmade things is something I developed on my own and only found likeminded people much later. I’m so glad for the online community we have now and you’re a huge part of that. Thank you for that!
Your mention of the party dress brought a huge nostalgic smile to my face. I was born in ’72 and I HATED dresses. Even so, I had a long, dark green floral party dress with a white bib and long sleeves with elasticated cuffs, made by my mum. At the time I was utterly ungrateful. Most of my party photos feature me looking vaguely resentful (I still remember the feel of the tight elastic at my wrists).
As I grew up I came to appreciate hand-made and hand-mended, and over the years I’ve made higgledy-piggledy patchwork quilts for my kids out of their outgrown clothes. I love seeing them cuddled up underneath them.
My dad died in late 2020, and a few months ago I finally felt able to take a few of his old woolly jumpers from my childhood home. I’m making a quilt using old woolly jumpers that I, my kids, and my dad have worn over the last few decades. Many of the jumpers are ones that my mum knitted for her grandchildren. This quilt will be doubly full of love. And just this once, I’m keeping it for myself. For now at least 🙂
So sorry to hear that Covid has got you. I wish you a quick and uneventful recovery.
I am so sorry that you are ill and hope that you are better soon. After 9 months of on and off illness (Grandbabie started at the incubator of disease called pre-school) last year, I had to cancel Christmas because I brought home Covid. Hubby recovered qickly but my immune system decided it had enough and thought I needed long covid as well. I am getting better but ohh sooo slowly. Hubby maintains that you need to listen to your body and take your rest.
I am the crafter/sewer/baker/general “maker” of all sorts of itmes in our family, so more of the giver of gifts than the receiver, but the best ever feeling was when my daughter insisted I make her wedding dress. She looked gorgeous on the day and I was soo very proud to be allowed such a large part of her day. FR played a large part in the making of her dress.
The grandchildren are now getting to an age where they want to craft with Nanny and I am more than willing to share whatever expertise I have. You love the blanket she made because it was made with love. She loves the blanket because she was able to give you that hug, that is there, when she is not.
I am one who tends to get sick a lot (and have also had covid) so unfortunately, I know how you feel. I am so grateful for the people who took time to care for me when I was sick. The hot soup, hot tea, or trips to the store to get something I could keep down in my system all made me feel loved. Thank God for your friend who shared her love with you in the blanket she made for you. I pray that you feel better soon.
Wishes for a quick and complete recovery, Cathy. Hearing that you found comfort in that stunning blanket makes all of us creating items for others very grateful. I am also a crochet/knit nut. Any time I sit down, some project or another is in my hands. It calms and inspires me. I am amazed that I can make something wonderful from a string of yarn. I’ve given away lots, most recently a hat for my Step Dad’s “cold head”. Also a shawl for my Mom’s 92nd birthday. I appreciate that my stitches make others happy. I am a true maker in that I most appreciate the making of an item. So enjoyment is had by at least two of us. Hoping to hear more about your nomadic adventures.
You failed to ask my permission to be ill, so, get better. I had spoken!
In all seriousness, Granny made patchwork quilts for us and we each had our favorites. Snuggled into it after a scary movie meant you were safe, when sick it meant a hug that could cure anything.
While going through my “treasures” the other day I found a box that contained the last hug Granny gave to me. She was my everything. With this note, I send a wisp of that hug. Be well.
Cathy:
It sux major rocks when one gets ill. I had Covid at the beginning of the whole scenario, and I thought it was the flu; I only realized it was Covid as I lost my sense of smell and taste during that time, and it took a good while before it came back.
I also make items, and have received handmade items in the past. I always know the energy/vibes put into items, because I do it, too. Thank you for an inspiring post.